He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Oh god it's open bar.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
