and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
