I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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