Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Randomize