it wasn't lemon gatorade
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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