Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
