No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
