i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
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We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
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I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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