Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Two words: nipple clamps
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