I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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