we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
where are you?
Hypothermia
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
