5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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