Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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