I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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