u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
