have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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