There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
