I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I will be naked everywhere
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
