but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
