I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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