He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
