the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
