can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
