Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
