I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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