Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I believe in your delicious
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
