I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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