The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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