I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
