okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize