I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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