he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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