The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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