Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
