It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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