omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
