after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
