I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
In America we eat man semen.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
