Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I accidentally burped into my bong.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

She brought up feelings... her days are numbered

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(303): View more from Colorado

it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol

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(971): View more from Oregon

he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out

(916): View more from California

you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it

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(407): View more from Florida

I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.

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(251): View more from Alabama

dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...

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(707): View more from California

How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?

(1-707): View more from California

At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain

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