He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
