I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
