If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He felt like a one man threesome
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
