If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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