I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
