your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
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Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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