I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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