Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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