I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
