I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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