Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This baby is an asshole
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
