Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
