i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
