I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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