I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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