I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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