I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
