in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
