Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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