I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
