THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
