On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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