Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
