How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
