if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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