1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize