cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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