The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just want to make out with him forever
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
